Dreams and Fears

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“You may say I’m a dreamer… but I’m not the only one..I hope someday you’ll join us…and the world will be as one.”

For many years I practically idolised that quote. It made me feel safe, comfortable and accepted in my state of constant mind wandering and almost narcissistic realm of dreaming of all the weird and wonderful things I want to achieve in life. It was as though John Lennon was helping me acknowledge my creative mind and reassuring me that  the realm I spent many irreversible moments wandering in, would magically takeover my real lucid life one day…Obviously as you can imagine it never did.

Bearing in mind I’m drawing my own meaning from the quote, and I’m interpreting them in a completely subjective way; I’m probably starting to sound a tad bit delusional and extremely abstract minded but I can assure you, and myself I’m as sane as the average human being could possibly be.

My reference to dreams seems quite intense. However I’m using the word quite loosely to describe everything from the occasional day dream to the time spent conjuring up what seemed like insightful rewarding actions/activities to partake in; only to have never really actually put the thoughts, ‘dreams’ into action.

I just went beyond procrastination… I dreamt….but even worse got stuck in my day dreams. Its taken me awhile to realise this, but it may be at the root of my, and many peoples grave procrastinating habits.

Its never really halted my life in anyway nor affected my work, it has however unknowingly been this massive log in the road to achieving my yearly goals. My relative passivity in the action department went unnoticed for many years; as I hid it behind my charismatic mouth, and pretty mediocre life, that by social standards were quite adequate enough.

Dreaming in my books, has actually been a form of Fear. Quite a subtle one nonetheless a way in which I halted myself from achieving even the most minute of goals, by subconsciously convincing myself that dreaming is/was enough.

The truth is dreaming is never enough, not even close. Its necessary, but in micro quantities in the big scheme of things. Its the brainchild, but not the product of accomplishment.

The last few months of my life have been a migraine and a half, and filled with the prospect of massive changes for 2015… all of which require that I leave my ever so present retreat haven of unproductiveness behind …permanently.

I humbly accept the challenge

So ‘adios’ to the mindless minutes spent dreaming, and ‘beun dia’ to the now-to-be-explored world of …accomplishment? Following through with ideas? Letting go of many fears? Stepping out the realm!  Let me stop Imagining the possibilities, and actually rather start seeing them in action!

Cheers to 2015, the year of possibilities